Heya Heya

Well it's been a little while since the last time I blogged. Things have been mellow and I either like it or hate it extremely. I was locked up at home for days because of the snow and such. It basically almost drove me crazy, so it was a good things my friends rescued me and I got to hang out with them all day yesterday. Today is a lame day though. Everyone's busy with stuff so I am stuck here sittin on mah butt. Fun but not fun. Very relaxing, and yet, troublesome. Sweet, but bitter.
I'm use to being alone. It can be a great thing in doses, but in everyday life, it takes a toll on my social life...like I had one to begin with. I just wish I can have a good friend who would love to spend alot of time with me. I thought I found a friend like that, but he seemed to not care that much. He's set on getting laid and hanging out with his many college friends. I wish I was like that. Allen works and has his own busy schedule for the week. Angi is always not home. Patty has a pretty awesome social life without realizing it and can be busy for hours upon hours in a day. I am not so lucky. I use to replace those empty hours with work, but even that doesn't satisfy me. Nothing does anymore. I have become numb...in a way.
I am going to dedicate this entry as a sad one. A funeral for the social life I barely have, and the bust life I won't have for a long time. I hope I have a happy, busy life like everyone else. For now I am stuck here doing nothing, and it kills me. But when I am busy, I am not happy. That is because I use to be stuck doing things I hated, which built up over time and I just wanted to be free. Now I am free and there is nothing to be accomplished. No hopes or dreams. No one by my side to help make me sane again. I only have myself to look over, and it makes me feel bad. Not depressed, just disappointment. There is nothing I can do to fill the void. So I'll just sit here and type for hours, hoping something dramatic happens in these brief five minutes. Nevermind.
Sleep can be my temporary therapy, but when I wake, I realize that it didn't work. The clock never lies. I am still alone and time will tick by very slowly. I have nothing to be excited about or anyone to greet. So I'll just sit here in this empty bed and count the minutes until someone notices my existence. Yay.

....yay.