A dying scream makes no sound, calling out to all that I've ever known.....

Winter break from school is in session and I am SOOOO happy that I got straight A's for the first time ever! Sadly, I don't have any money to spend and celebrate this rare occasion, so I made myself some ramen and that was that.

I've started searching for jobs once again with no hope of really getting one. I've been searching for over a year now, and no luck. I've only got one call and my dumbass forgot my cell phone charger when I moved to new brunswick for a little while. My phone didnt function for a long time and I never got a chance to call them back. If I did, I'd have a job at Toys R Us right now.

At this point, I'll take any job...even one at a freakin grocery store or dunkin donuts. Just the fact that I'm making a little bit of money would make me happy. I'm starting to worry that I won't be able to afford my voice and piano lessons. Without them, I won't stand a chance at the audition for Mason Gross. I'm pretty sure I won't get in anyway, but I still want the guidance and support from my voice teacher before I try my luck. After this audition, I may have to stop my lessons until I get a job. I'm tired of asking my parents for money. They keep giving me angry looks.

So yeah, I have the winter blues right now. This always occurs around the same time of year..every year. I get into hybernation mode and never want to leave my bed. I also turn into a full-fledged hermit and refuse to leave my home unless I absolutely have to. I haven't hung out with any friends in a while too. I have no desire to really do anything...it sucks! And the fact that I'm poor depresses me even more.

So til next time...