Sunday, January 22, 2012

Moving out

Yes, it is now time for me to leave the nest and move out. My mom has been bothering me to no end, and I finally want my freedom. I want to be independent. I want to spread my wings, and see the world alone. I feel trapped in this tiny, smoky apartment. My room can barely hold any of my things. I have to climb over boxes and piles of clean and dirty clothes. I have stacks of books on the floor and game consoles. This room is about the size of a walk-in closet, and I hate it. I don't have a desk and have to do my homework either on my bed or on the dusty floor. It bothers me so freakin much. I also strongly dislike the way my parents treat me....as if I am still a teenager. They always want to know where I'm going, who I'm with, and when I'm coming home. My mom also has a list of chores for me to do for her and errands to run because she is too lazy to do it herself, and uses her disability as a crutch, which is BS because she is physically capable of doing most of these things, but makes me do it instead. She uses the guilt technique to reel me in, like "if you don't do what I say, I'll kick you out." along with some happy, warm "fuck you's" and "go fuck yourself" The medication she takes makes her miserable and angry all the time, and she continues to use me as her emotional punching bag. No more. I'm done with this. In a short amount of time, I am moving in with my father. He's a little crazy himself, but I know he won't constantly bother me. He has two empty rooms in his house and lives alone, so I know there will be a lot of peace and quiet there; a luxury I've been craving for so long. The rooms are big, so I can fit all my shit in them. Plus his house is closer to school and right down the street from my boyfriend's apartment, so it's perfect. Now I just have to move all my crap to his house, which is going to take a while. I'm excited nonetheless, and can't wait to get away from my miserable mother. I love her to death, but I can't take the emotional abuse anymore. I NEED to be alone....I need to find out who I am without someone breathing down my neck and constantly playing mind games with me. I need peace and tranquility.

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